Monday, March 20, 2023

memories from Elaine

Below is a note I received from Elaine. I had asked for her memories of our grandparents. Some of us (lol, me), barely remember Grandpa, and were not alive for Grandma, or for Caryl Ave.

Thanks Elaine!


Hello again Thomas,

Although several months have gone by since I was last in touch, I never forgot about your request.  So, in the spirit of St. Patrick’s Day, I thought I’d finally send some remembrances of our paternal grandparents.  Included are my two sisters’ memories as well.

First of all, we all have very fond memories of grandma, and what a kind and sweet woman she was.  We loved going to 66 Caryl Ave., almost every Sunday afternoon, to visit and cook with grandma while the men played poker.  Grandma played, too, (as did my mom) after Sunday dinner was served and the dishes cleaned up.  My sisters and I loved helping her and hearing her stories.  One of my favorite memories is making tea with grandma.  She had a big, beautiful porcelain teapot and only brew with loose tea leaves, no tea bags.  Then she would read the tea leaves in the bottom of our cups when we finished our tea and tell the best, most loving tea fortunes.  I did the same with my daughter for years, and I still brew loose tea at times, but also use tea bags! These are wonderful memories. She was so kind and caring.

We all loved that house, too, at one time occupied by O’Grady’s on all three floors, but my dad never lived there after he married my mom.  This has  nothing to do with grandma or grandpa per se, but I remember the “dumbwaiter” in that house and loved sending things up and down on that clever device.  It was just fun to be in that house and have access to all three floors, and a nice back yard, half of which backed up to Van Cortlandt park in the Bronx! 

One more thing about Nancy’s memories of grandma in that house, when they lived on the middle floor, your parents on the first, and Frank and Betty on the third.  This is after grandma got sick with cancer...Nancy remembers that grandma had some clippings of her beautiful dark auburn hair in a wooden box on her dresser. She loved looking at that when she went in the bedroom to visit grandma.  I don’t remember that at all, but I do remember grandma being so sick.  

Lastly about grandma is that she must have been a saint and very strong-willed to stand up to grandpa! Of course, those were years when men ruled and women were supposed to be subservient.  More props to grandma for speaking her mind!

So, on to grandpa....he was a stern and very hard working man who was always busy with one project or another.   He could seem a bit gruff at times, especially to young children who might be trying to figure him out.  After all, he had huge responsibilities, which makes his gruffness more understandable. Arline remembers a softer side of him and says he would sit us on his knee and have fun singing his own repertoire of Irish songs.  If I dug deep into my memory bank, I might remember that, and could picture it happening.  One thing for sure...he loved his family, every single one of us.  Also, he and grandma seemed happy with their lives. I should also mention that they were both quite involved in Democratic political organizations, and they passed that on to some of us.

My sisters and I feel very lucky to have had them in our lives as children and beyond, as I’m sure your older siblings feel. The memories are special and unique.

One thing I’d like to clarify about grandpa’s first trip back to Ireland.  It was my sister, Joan, who was the first grandchild to take the first return trip with grandpa to Ireland in 1962. I remember how excited she was to travel with him, I remember her packing for the trip, and I still have some mementos from their trip, but sadly no photos.  Your sister, Katherine was the second to go to Ireland with grandpa.  Just mention that for historical family records.  I’m glad you and your brothers stopped by the family gravesites in Yonkers.

I’m not good sending photos, and I think John has copies of all of the photos I have with grandma and grandpa stashed away. If I ever uncover my old albums I’ll check and have my grandson help me send them.  Thanks for your research and your postings on Ancestry. We appreciate your interest in our roots!

Much love to you, your siblings and families,
Slainte,
Elaine